Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
