I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
