Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I got inside last night via doggy door
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