i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
