yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize