I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Every concussion has its silver lining
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
