Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This is the high leading the old right now
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
