I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
