Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
