CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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