3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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