Dual....:-)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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