is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
