elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
