and you said cock pushups were impossible
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
