And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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