i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
How's work?
Spinning.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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