okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
