used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
