I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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