party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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