he puts the penis in happiness.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
