I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
