You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
