I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
my phone needs a breathalizer
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
organizing the empties. That sober.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Randomize
