the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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