his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
