I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
