The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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