Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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