What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
