then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize