Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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