Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
