we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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