She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
