anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
