The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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