I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
