I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Randomize
