oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
