Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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