do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
