I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
