Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
