Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
