Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize