Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
