just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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