You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
