Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
