The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
