Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
