i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
