No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
