Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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