Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
