the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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