It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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