Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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